Are kids having a harder time making friends today? Research says yes. Many teachers and parents have noticed that young children now struggle more with social skills like listening, following directions, sharing, and taking turns compared to kids five years ago.
A 2024 study found that almost one-third of parents with children ages 3-5 say their kids have trouble making friends and sharing. Experts believe this has gotten worse since the COVID-19 pandemic, which kept many children from playing and learning with others during important growing years. Research also shows that children born during the pandemic may need extra help to build strong social skills because they missed out on early social experiences.
Since social skills help children do well in school and life, it’s important to start teaching them early. The good news is that parents can help their kids grow these skills every day through simple activities, playtime, and conversations. Here’s how you can support your child in building confidence and making friends.
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Understanding How Children Learn Social Skills
Children learn social skills in different ways as they grow up. Babies start by watching their parents’ faces and copying their smiles. Toddlers learn by playing next to other children, while older kids learn through group games and activities. Each age brings new ways of learning how to be social.
The brain grows a lot during childhood, which helps children understand others’ feelings and learn how to act in different situations. This learning happens naturally through play, family time, and spending time with other children. When children have many chances to practice social skills, these abilities become natural to them, just like riding a bike or tying shoes.
An interesting discovery from recent research shows that children who go to school with kids from different backgrounds become better at understanding how others think and feel. This skill, which helps children make friends and show kindness, grows stronger when children spend time with people who are different from them. This tells us that giving children chances to meet and play with different kinds of people helps them become more understanding and friendly.
Simple Ways Parents Can Help
Parents can teach social skills during normal daily activities. During family meals, children can practice taking turns talking and listening to others. When playing games, they learn to follow rules and handle winning or losing. Even simple things like saying “please” and “thank you” help children learn good social habits.
Reading stories together is another great way to teach social skills. Books often show characters solving problems or dealing with feelings. Parents can talk with their children about how the characters feel and what they do. This helps children understand others’ feelings and learn good ways to handle different situations.
The Power of Play in Building Social Skills
Play is one of the best ways children learn social skills. Through games and pretend play, children practice working together, sharing, and solving problems. When children play house or store, they try out different roles and learn how people work together in real life.
Group games teach important lessons about taking turns, following rules, and being a good sport. Even simple games like catch or building with blocks help children learn to work with others. Outside play, like at parks or playgrounds, gives children natural ways to meet new friends and practice their social skills.
Teaching Children About Feelings and Emotions
Children who understand feelings do better in social situations. Teaching children about emotions starts with helping them name their own feelings, like happy, sad, angry, or scared. When parents talk openly about feelings, it helps children learn it’s okay to share how they feel.
Playing emotion games can make learning about feelings fun. Children can make faces showing different emotions while others guess the feeling, or draw pictures of how they feel. Parents can also point out emotions in books, movies, or real life, helping children notice how others show their feelings through faces and body language.
Recent studies by education researchers found that many teachers (about 62%) notice their students have more trouble making eye contact compared to children ten years ago. In fact, teachers say one in five students struggles with this important skill. Making eye contact helps children connect with others and show they’re listening, which is why it’s important to practice this at home in a comfortable way.
Books That Help Children Develop Social Skills
Parents often ask what books can help their children learn social skills. Here are the top 10 books that make learning about friendship, sharing, and getting along with others fun and easy:
- The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig This book shows how small acts of kindness can help someone feel included. Brian, the main character, feels invisible until a new student shows him kindness. It’s perfect for teaching children about noticing and helping others who might feel left out.
- How to Be a Friend by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown Think of this as a friendly guidebook for children about friendship. It shows real situations kids face every day and gives simple ways to handle problems with friends. The pictures and stories make learning friendship skills fun.
- Kindness is My Superpower by Alicia Ortego This fun book uses rhymes to teach children about being kind. It shows everyday situations where children can use their “kindness superpower” to help others. Children love the colorful pictures and easy-to-understand messages.
- The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson This beautiful book helps children feel good about being different. It shows that everyone has something special about them and that these differences can help make new friends. The story helps children feel brave in new situations.
- My Mouth is a Volcano! by Julia Cook Louis has trouble waiting his turn to talk – his words just burst out like a volcano! This funny book helps children learn about taking turns in conversations and listening to others. It’s great for children who get excited and interrupt others.
- Growing Friendships by Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore Using fun comics and stories, this book helps children understand friendship. It gives real tips for making friends, joining groups, and solving problems with friends. The pictures make learning these important skills easy and fun.
- Llama Llama Time to Share by Anna Dewdney In this book, Llama Llama learns that sharing can be hard but also fun. Young children can see why sharing is important and how it helps make friends. The rhyming words make it enjoyable to read together.
- The Feelings Book by Todd Parr This colorful book helps children name their feelings and understand that all emotions are okay. The simple words and bright pictures make it perfect for young children. Understanding feelings helps children make better friends.
- Clark the Shark by Bruce Hale Clark learns how to control his excitement and play nicely with others. Children enjoy the underwater adventures while learning how their actions affect others. It makes learning about friendship fun and exciting.
- A Friend for Henry by Jenn Bailey Henry wants to make a friend but finds it hard. This thoughtful book shows that everyone can find friendship in their own way. It’s especially helpful for children who might feel different or have trouble making friends.
Reading these books together gives parents and children a chance to talk about feelings, friendship, and getting along with others. Try reading one book at bedtime or during quiet time. Talk about the story and ask your child what they think about it. This helps children learn social skills in a comfortable way.
Helping Shy or Anxious Children
Many children feel shy or nervous in social situations, and that’s normal. The key is helping them feel comfortable at their own pace. Starting with small, easy social situations helps build confidence. This might mean playing with one friend before joining a bigger group, or visiting a playground during quiet times.
Parents can practice social situations at home where children feel safe. Role-playing common situations, like meeting new people or joining a game, gives children a chance to try out social skills without pressure. Praising children’s efforts, even small ones, helps them feel more confident about trying new social situations.
Screen Time and Social Skills
In today’s world, children use phones, tablets, and computers more than ever. While some screen time can be okay, too much can get in the way of learning social skills. Face-to-face time with friends and family helps children learn important social skills that screens can’t teach.
Setting clear rules about screen time helps balance digital and real-world activities. Family activities, outdoor play, and in-person friendships should take priority over screen time. Parents can also use technology in positive ways, like video chatting with far-away family or playing educational games together.
Social Skills at School
School gives children many chances to practice social skills. Working in groups, playing at recess, and talking with teachers all help build these skills. Parents can work with teachers to understand how their child acts in social situations at school and find ways to help if needed.
Making friends at school is an important part of growing up. Parents can help by arranging playdates with classmates, encouraging children to join school clubs or sports teams, and talking about friendship skills like being kind and including others.
Supporting Children with Special Needs
Children with special needs might need extra help learning social skills, but they can make great progress with the right support. Working with teachers, therapists, and doctors can help create a plan that fits each child’s needs. Breaking down social skills into smaller, easier steps often helps these children learn better.
Special programs and social skills groups can give these children extra practice in a supportive setting. These groups often use fun activities and games to teach social skills in ways that work well for children with different needs.
Recent research about children born during the pandemic shows many need extra help with social skills. Doctors and teachers have noticed these children might need more support in telling others what they need, handling their feelings, and solving problems with friends. Boys especially might need extra help in these areas. This means parents and teachers need to work together to give these children extra practice with social skills.
Tracking Progress and Getting Help
Parents can watch how their child’s social skills grow over time. Signs of progress might include making new friends, handling conflicts better, or feeling more confident in social situations. Keeping track of these improvements helps parents know what’s working well.
If parents worry about their child’s social skills, talking to teachers, doctors, or child development experts can help. These professionals can check if extra help might be needed and suggest ways to support the child’s social development.
Final Thoughts
Learning social skills takes time, and every child develops at their own pace. These skills—like sharing, listening, and making friends—help children succeed in school, relationships, and life.
Parents can support their child’s social growth by creating opportunities for interaction, practicing skills at home, and celebrating small improvements. Simple activities like family meals, playtime, and reading together can make a big difference.
Every small step forward matters. With love, patience, and practice, children can grow into confident, kind, and friendly individuals. If you need more parenting tips, visit GownMagazine today!
